From One of us to One of Them: A Look at the Peer-to-Leader Transition

I've always been fascinated by those people who seem to effortlessly slide into leadership roles. You know the type - they're promoted and suddenly it's like they were born to lead. Meanwhile, there I was, promoted to manage my former peers, feeling like I was wearing my dad's oversized suit to a job interview.

Let's be honest with each other. This transition? It's messy. It's uncomfortable. Suddenly, you're not just trying to fit in - you're trying to lead the very people you used to commiserate with over lukewarm coffee and mutual frustrations.

Here's the thing, that desire to be liked... is probably going to be your biggest challenge. It's one of mine and it continues to be something I'm working on to this day. This is because being a good leader isn't about being liked - it's about being respected. And sometimes, those two things are at odds.

So, how do you navigate this? Here's a few tips and tricks to embrace the change gracefully:

Embrace the Awkward - It's going to be weird. Accept it. Own it. The first time you have to give feedback to someone who was your happy hour buddy last week? Excruciating. But pretending the dynamic hasn't changed is even worse.
Set Boundaries (Without Being a Jerk) - You can't be one of the gang anymore. It sucks, but it's true. You need to create some distance, but do it with empathy. Remember, your team is probably feeling as awkward as you are.
Listen More, Talk Less - Remember all those brilliant ideas you had about how to fix everything? Now's your chance to implement them, right? Wrong. Now's your chance to shut up and listen. Your team has insights you never considered as a peer. Use them.
Be the Leader You Wished You Had - Think about all the times you complained about your boss. What did you wish they'd do differently? This is your chance to break the cycle. Be transparent, be fair, and above all else, learn how to give constructive feedback without crushing souls.
Embrace Your Inner Imposter - That voice in your head saying you're not qualified? It's not going away anytime soon. The trick isn't to silence it; it's to acknowledge it and move forward anyway. "Yes, I'm scared. Yes, this is new. But I'm going to give it my best shot." Radical acceptance of who you are (and who you aren't) will give you the strength and the humility needed to try new things.
Find Your Support System - It gets lonely at the top (and maybe even moreso in the middle). Find people you can be vulnerable with outside of work. A mentor, a leadership group, a therapist - whatever works for you. You need a space where you can admit you have no idea what to do next sometimes.

The transition from peer to boss is not always easy. In fact, sometimes it's awkward and sometimes it's painful; however, it's also an incredible opportunity for growth. You'll make mistakes. You'll have days where you want to hide under your desk. But you'll also have moments of triumph that make it all worthwhile.

Remember, you're not just managing tasks; you're leading people. People with hopes, fears, and bad days. Be kind to them and to yourself. And on the days you don't feel like you've got this? Fake it till you make it. That's what all the best leaders do anyway. Just maybe avoid trying to be the "cool boss." Trust me, it never works out the way you think it will.